Infection

Yesterday I had the amazing opportunity to stand up for the fight against eating disorders. Simon Birch (one of my doggies), my friend Nicole, and I walked in the National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA) walk in Tampa Bay. It was the 2nd annual walk. I am proud of myself. I am proud of Simon Birch. It was wonderful to have my friend Nicole with me. The 3 of us made a stand...we said we are good enough, we are strong enough, we are pretty enough.

Here are some pictures...

What I have realized is that an addiction is like an infection. When you have a sinus infection you have to go to the doctor's office and get some antibiotics to kill the infection. While the antibiotics kill the bad bacteria, they also kill the good bacteria. So you take probiotics, you blow your nose, you cough the nasty stuff up, you boost your immune system, and so much more...an addiction is the same. First, you have to admit you have one. You get help, whether it be rehab, counseling, "Anonymous" meetings, sponsors, or all of the above. That starts to kill the infection. That's the antibiotic.

Then you start devoting time to healing. You make that a first priority by constant and continuous surrender to Jesus Christ. That's blowing your nose and coughing it up. But while all of this is happening you might find yourself asking yourself, "Who am I?". If I am not my addiction anymore...who am I? This is where the "probiotics" come in. You pour the good stuff in because now you don't have much "good bacteria" left because for so long the bad bacteria attempted to never let it grow again. You nurture yourself. You try new things. You become vulnerable to the possibility of getting hurt in hopes to heal from the need to feel in control. You surrender more...and more...and more...everyday, emptying yourself and filling yourself with the love of Jesus Christ that He offers freely while only asking you to trust. Trust in His saving grace...knowing that you are good enough no matter how messed up you are...or feel. All of this boosts your "immune system" so that you can fight even when you want to give up...

I have been holding onto perfectionism for years...even in my sobriety of my eating disorder. If you struggle with this too, know that it isn't a way to live. Perfectionism is poison to your soul. YOU WILL NEVER BE PERFECT. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. DON'T SIN-MANAGE. LET GOD HEAL YOU BY SURRENDERING IT TO HIM. What after that you might be asking? Trust. Be still and know that HE IS GOD. He will start to slowly change your heart...change the way you look at things...change your attitudes and opinions. Give in to it. Surrender. God has made it so apparent to me that this is my next step. What's yours?


Check this out :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLDQEbdHhz8