Infection

Yesterday I had the amazing opportunity to stand up for the fight against eating disorders. Simon Birch (one of my doggies), my friend Nicole, and I walked in the National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA) walk in Tampa Bay. It was the 2nd annual walk. I am proud of myself. I am proud of Simon Birch. It was wonderful to have my friend Nicole with me. The 3 of us made a stand...we said we are good enough, we are strong enough, we are pretty enough.

Here are some pictures...

What I have realized is that an addiction is like an infection. When you have a sinus infection you have to go to the doctor's office and get some antibiotics to kill the infection. While the antibiotics kill the bad bacteria, they also kill the good bacteria. So you take probiotics, you blow your nose, you cough the nasty stuff up, you boost your immune system, and so much more...an addiction is the same. First, you have to admit you have one. You get help, whether it be rehab, counseling, "Anonymous" meetings, sponsors, or all of the above. That starts to kill the infection. That's the antibiotic.

Then you start devoting time to healing. You make that a first priority by constant and continuous surrender to Jesus Christ. That's blowing your nose and coughing it up. But while all of this is happening you might find yourself asking yourself, "Who am I?". If I am not my addiction anymore...who am I? This is where the "probiotics" come in. You pour the good stuff in because now you don't have much "good bacteria" left because for so long the bad bacteria attempted to never let it grow again. You nurture yourself. You try new things. You become vulnerable to the possibility of getting hurt in hopes to heal from the need to feel in control. You surrender more...and more...and more...everyday, emptying yourself and filling yourself with the love of Jesus Christ that He offers freely while only asking you to trust. Trust in His saving grace...knowing that you are good enough no matter how messed up you are...or feel. All of this boosts your "immune system" so that you can fight even when you want to give up...

I have been holding onto perfectionism for years...even in my sobriety of my eating disorder. If you struggle with this too, know that it isn't a way to live. Perfectionism is poison to your soul. YOU WILL NEVER BE PERFECT. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. DON'T SIN-MANAGE. LET GOD HEAL YOU BY SURRENDERING IT TO HIM. What after that you might be asking? Trust. Be still and know that HE IS GOD. He will start to slowly change your heart...change the way you look at things...change your attitudes and opinions. Give in to it. Surrender. God has made it so apparent to me that this is my next step. What's yours?


Check this out :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLDQEbdHhz8

Equine-Assisted Psychotherapy

     In February and May of 2009 God opened the door for me to get my Equine-Assisted Psychotherapy (EAP) certifications as the "Equine Specialist" part of the team. The team consists of a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and an Equine Specialist. Now, to tell you the part of the story that is unbelievably amazing and has God written all over it...

    Prior to getting my certifications I was taking a Technical Writing course in college. I loved this class...well, sometimes. We were assigned a simple power point presentation to be done on something we were interested in. My first thought was "HORSES!", but then I realized I should probably add some pizazz to it! So I started the research part. I had worked with handicapped adults and children while they took hippotherapy and therapeutic riding lessons. As incredible an experience that was, I knew that wasn't what made me tick...I wanted to help people with grief, trauma, anxiety, abuse, all things I went through as a child and watched my family go through. That is when I stumbled upon www.eagala.org. 

    I had no idea I could actually get certified as an EAP "Equine Specialist". I thought I had to graduate and get my license in mental health counseling. Go through hoops I wasn't prepared to go through at the time. It was only my 3rd year of college and I wasn't finished with my AA yet. 

    I worked hard on my presentation. I have never enjoyed a project more. I stood in front of my class and poured my heart into this power point presentation hoping to enlighten people and change lives. Little did I know that the life I changed was mine.

   I thought about EAGALA (Equine-Assisted Growth and Learning Association) constantly. Wondering, "How can I support this amazing thing that I have fallen in love with and want to be apart of so desperately?", "Can I financially give a little each month?", and on and on.

   A few months later I submitted an application to a youth ranch dedicated to Biblical principles and helping change the lives of girls in foster care and kids with childhood developmental disorders. While talking to one of the founders I briefly told him my interest in EAP. He looked at me kind of funny and said, "You know you can get certified right? There is a place in the Tampa area that is hosting EAGALA...it's called Quantum Leap Farm." My jaw dropped. I used to work there. (refer to story in last post) I had been a volunteer there since I was a sophmore in high school and then the president/founder hired me as the weekend farm manager my first year of college. The only reason I had to resign was because I moved to Gainesville for college. Anyway, back on track...this news was music to my ears! I called my horse mentor/president and founder of QLF and asked her about it. I then paid a lot of money and signed up for the first and second certification (you are really not certified until you have the 2nd one) events. God provided the money, opened the doors, and then blew me out of the water! I had found exactly what made me tick...watching God use horses to help people heal. That's what He did for me...I was doing equine-assisted self exploration on myself for years. How could I not help others using this tool? That just seems silly...

Equine-Assisted Psychotherapy:

Equine-assisted psychotherapy “is a collaborative effort between a licensed therapist and a horse professional working with the clients and horses to address treatment goals” dealing with trauma, grief, depression, addictions, and anxiety disorders.

Some studies suggest that “the brain was hardwired with a predisposition to pay attention to animals and animals are demonstrably a source of social support”.. 

"Children have been known to find horses to be a secret confidant in which they can share secrets-an outlet that will soon open the door for the child to share with a therapist so they can process their thoughts, feelings, and emotions."

Psychotherapy without the assistance of a horse is definitely beneficial and necessary, but allowing someone recovering from trauma and grief to experience the “unique elements of equine-human relationships may foster deep, intimate connections"